My kids were 13 and 11 when I got sober, aged 44. It was then 2 years later, after my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD, that I was diagnosed ADHD and autistic. I'm trying to come to grips with what damage my drinking has caused my kids. Unlike yours, mine DO remember my drinking - "crazy mummy" who would alternate between giddy highs and snoring, sulky, grumpy, forgetful blackout lows.
So far they seem OK at 18 and 16, although I see my 18-yr old son frantically chewing the skin around his fingers as though he's never eaten a meal, and he plays the PlayStation every single second he's not at college. I think to myself, 'At least he's talking to his friends while he's playing and he's sitting in the living room with us' but I also see a boy with no fire, no passion and who is extraordinarily underweight.
My 16 year old daughter - the one with ADHD - miraculously seems to be doing well now after a couple of years of medication. She's stopped taking meds and is still managing well at school, but she has the frantic energy of a tornedo and sits in the bathroom or her bedroom with the door shut from the moment she comes home from school until she falls asleep late. She spends most of her time chatting to friends on the phone and laughing wildly, or she's in town op-shopping with her girlfriend.
So they both SEEM alright but I'm positive I've injected their childhood with some sort of trauma. Without meaning to sound blase, if it wasn't that trauma I'm sure it would be something else.
I myself swear by AA and NA - there's no way I'd be alive without those fellowships - and I've been going to regular meetings since I got sober in 2020. Perhaps it depends on the group of people - after all, it's full of sick people - as to whether you feel safe or seen or understood. I met my tribe here in Tasmania and I'm positive over 90% of them are neurodivergent. It seems to be the common 'why' as to everybody's addiction - self-medicating due to feeling different and alien in this world.
Thanks so much for sharing. My kids have never seen me in active addiction and I hope this is always true 🙏🏼
My kids were 13 and 11 when I got sober, aged 44. It was then 2 years later, after my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD, that I was diagnosed ADHD and autistic. I'm trying to come to grips with what damage my drinking has caused my kids. Unlike yours, mine DO remember my drinking - "crazy mummy" who would alternate between giddy highs and snoring, sulky, grumpy, forgetful blackout lows.
So far they seem OK at 18 and 16, although I see my 18-yr old son frantically chewing the skin around his fingers as though he's never eaten a meal, and he plays the PlayStation every single second he's not at college. I think to myself, 'At least he's talking to his friends while he's playing and he's sitting in the living room with us' but I also see a boy with no fire, no passion and who is extraordinarily underweight.
My 16 year old daughter - the one with ADHD - miraculously seems to be doing well now after a couple of years of medication. She's stopped taking meds and is still managing well at school, but she has the frantic energy of a tornedo and sits in the bathroom or her bedroom with the door shut from the moment she comes home from school until she falls asleep late. She spends most of her time chatting to friends on the phone and laughing wildly, or she's in town op-shopping with her girlfriend.
So they both SEEM alright but I'm positive I've injected their childhood with some sort of trauma. Without meaning to sound blase, if it wasn't that trauma I'm sure it would be something else.
I myself swear by AA and NA - there's no way I'd be alive without those fellowships - and I've been going to regular meetings since I got sober in 2020. Perhaps it depends on the group of people - after all, it's full of sick people - as to whether you feel safe or seen or understood. I met my tribe here in Tasmania and I'm positive over 90% of them are neurodivergent. It seems to be the common 'why' as to everybody's addiction - self-medicating due to feeling different and alien in this world.
I love your work and I think you're amazing. :-)